If you have just met what seems like a great guy and you’ve had three or four dates, please don’t feel like you have the right to question his whereabouts, go through his phone or search his home. That’s too scary! It is a signal to the average man to run. This behavior will make him think you are unstable. Slow it down and learn to control your emotions, because becoming too possessive may end the relationship before it starts.
During this early relationship phase, most guys are just smelling the flowers and trying to decide which one to pick or IF he wants to pick one. Just because he has shown interest in you does not mean that he has forgotten about all the other women in his life. If he begins to feel genuine affection for you, he may indeed delete his little black book, but it could take a while. Thinking that he has immediately given up all his options is naive.
Instead of expecting commitment behavior, use this phase of the relationship to get to know him. Instead of wondering what he does with his days and nights or who he is talking to or texting, I suggest that you focus on getting to know who is in front of you. Determine if he is who he presents himself to be or is he presenting to you a carefully crafted facade, meant to deceive you. You should also focus on keeping your options open and continuing your search for the love you deserve.
Until the two of you have come to a consensus that you want to commit to an exclusive relationship, do not expect a commitment or commitment behavior. Just enjoy the relationship for what it is. Don’t assume that it is a committed relationship when all the signs point to a hook-up or friends with benefits relationship.
